Yunita Dwi Sabrina [11410063]

 

Divorce in Social Exchange Theory and Al-Qur’an Perspective

BY 

           YUNITA DWI SABRINA [11410063]

          English B Class of Psychology

1. Definitions

Divorce is a divorce between a husband and wife living as a result of their failure to carry  out the role of each bond. In this case, divorce is seen as the end of a marriage instability which spouses live apart and then officially recognized by the law (Erna, 1999)

Divorce according to marriage low, such as Divorce occurs when both parties husband and wife have felt mismatch in the household. Law No. 1 of 1974 doesn’t provide a definition of marriage divorce particularly. Article 39 paragraph (2) of the Marriage Law and the class description states that a divorce can be done if in accordance with the reasons that have been determined. Definition of divorce in the religious courts, viewed from marriage breakdown. The breakdown of marriage in UUP described, namely: 

1. Caused by death

2. Caused by breaking up

3. Caused by disruption court  

In the Islam side, divorce is named by talak. Talak has a meaning as releasing a ligament. Literally, talak is a final solution if only the husband and wife can not live together and seek an agreement to look for happiness in the household.

 In the qur’an, divorce is explained in the QS. QS Al-Baqarah : 229

 

A divorce is only permissible twice: after that, the parties should either hold Together on equitable terms, or separate with kindness. It is not lawful for you, (Men), to take back any of your gifts (from your wives), except when both parties fear that they would be unable to keep the limits ordained by Allah. If ye (judges) do indeed fear that they would be unable to keep the limits ordained by Allah, there is no blame on either of them if she give something for her freedom. These are the limits ordained by Allah. so do not transgress them if any do transgress the limits ordained by Allah, such persons wrong (Themselves as well as others). [QS. Albaqarah : 229]

    2.   Analysis by the Psychology Theory and Islam Concept

In divorce cases, can be analyzed using the theory of social exchange that contained in social psychology. The theory developed by figures such as John Thibaut psychology and Harlod Kelley (1959), sociologist George Homans (1961), Richard Emerson (1962), and Peter Blau (1964). Based on this theory, we enter into exchange relationships with other people because of him we get rewarded. In other words, exchange relationships with others will result in a reward for us. Because our environment generally consists of other people, then we and other people have seen these behaviors affect each element in the relationship are rewarded (reward), sacrifice (cost) and the gain (profit). Rewards are all things gained by the sacrifice, the sacrifice is all the things that are avoided, and the profit is reduced by the sacrifice benefits. So social behavior consists of at least an exchange between two people based on cost-benefit calculations. In performing a marriage course both sides have underlying the calculation of profit (profit). Advantages, among others, for men, there is care and attention, the fulfillment of biological needs, some company on the way to the ideals and many others. As for the women, the fulfillment of biological needs, there are everyday needs, a protection, and etc. When there is a problems in domestic life, required sacrifice (cost) to alleviate the problem. If there are problems in the settlement of imbalances reward (reward), so that one side was not getting satisfaction. Of course this makes the other side feel not benefit. So at this point that divorce can occur. When analyzed by QS. Albaqarah: 229, divorce may be implemented if both parties feel if kept together, it makes can not live the commandments of God instead. It is like a commentary piece verse, which reads, "If you (judges) do indeed fear that they would be unable to keep the limits ordained by Allah, there is no blame on either of them if she give something for her freedom." And more obliged to obey the laws of God. Due to the laws of God is absolute, then those who dare to break it, he was among the people who dzalim.

   3.    Response 

Based on social exchange theory and reviewed from QS. Albaqarah: 229, I found the point that divorce may happen if both parties do not get the benefit, of course, the benefits are intended to help the couple obey God's laws. Where to live together even difficult to obey God's laws, divorce may be permitted.  But of course, we had to sacrifice as could we did to maintain the household. Because, marriage has a lot of kindness and it is a form of worship. And also because divorce is something which God hates even it allowed.

    4.   True Story of Divorce 

Ibrahim Prophet ever ordered to Ismail Prophet (his son), to divorce his wife. Because, ismail’s wife didn’t give the best service to her husband.  Whereas, serving husband is an obligation.

Imam ath Thabariy history in his Tafseer of Ibn Abbas said that after Hajar and Ishmael died married to a woman. Then Ibrahim asked permission to her to visit Hajar and Sarah would let the condition do not stay there. Ibrahim arrived there and found Hajar had died and then he went to the house of Ismail. Ibrahim said to his wife, "Where is your husband?" She replied, "It's not here, he was going hunting."-Ismail at that time out of the al-Haram to hunt Ibrahim said, "Do you have a banquet, do you have any food or drink? "she replied," I do not have anything, not anything else I have. "Ibrahim said," If your husband comes then to say hello to him and say, 'Let him change his doorstep! Then Ibrahim passed.Soon Ismail arrival home and she kissed him and said to his wife, 'Did anyone come? "She said," There was an old man who came, it looks like he is hiding about her. "What people are saying to you?" She said 'He told me, "Say hello to your husband and tell him,' Let him change his doorstep." after that Ishmael divorced her and married another woman.Having passed some time, Ibrahim had asked permission to visit Sarah and Sarah Ismail was allowed on the condition do not stay there. After Ibrahim arrived at the front door of the house and said to his wife Ismail Ismail, "Where is your husband? She said, "He was hunting, God willing, he'll come in a minute, stop-may Allah merahmatimu-Ibrahim said," Do you have anything for dinner? The woman replied, "Yes." Ibrahim said, "Do you have bread or wheat or palm?" She replied, "No." Then she brought milk and meat, Ibrahim was praying for blessings for both. Then if she was at that time carrying bread or grain or palm then surely (Mecca) to the earth of Allah the most widely produced grain and korma. The woman said to Abraham, "Come up to you wash your head." But Abraham was reluctant to stop. The woman was brought al maqom (the ground) and put it on the right and Ibrahim al maqom put his foot on it and it dibiarkanlah former stirrups on it. The woman was washing the right side of his head and then he moved al maqom to her left and she was washing the left.Abraham and said to him, "When your husband comes then Convey greetings to him and say to him, 'doorstep does not need changing." Ismail when he kissed his father's back and said to her, "Is there someone coming?" She replied, "Yes, seoang grandfather he was the kindest and most fragrant smell her. And he told me, 'this and that.' Then I say, 'this and that' I wash his head and this former al maqom ditas stirrups. "Ismail said," What did he say to you, "She said," If your husband home Convey the greetings to him and say to him, 'the threshold of your door does not need changing. "Ismail said," it is Abraham. "... (Jami' al-Bayan al-Qur'an juz fii ta'wil XVII case 21).

References 

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